I am OK but I am Not OK

I am walking around and I am okay but I am not fully functional, really. I misplace things, I get lost going places I know how to get to, I am disoriented and working on partial cylinders, like an engine with not enough fuel or the wrong fuel, or something malfunctioning. I can go along okay for a while and seem fine, All of a sudden, I realize I do not know what is going on, or where I am… if I am in the car, I am driving on automatic and might need 30 seconds to figure out where I am going or where I am. If I am going up the steps, I forget why. These things had happened before; now they are happening more often.   You think something is on my mind???

The doctor herself called me to tell me that the tests results are normal and everything looks okay for the surgery on Wednesday. We are planning for a lumpectomy which will then require radiation therapy as a follow  up procedure for sure. Chemotherapy is a maybe depending on the pathology report of the actual tumor and lymph nodes. Someone from the office will call on Tuesday to tell me what time to come in on Wednesday morning. It is an out-patient procedure!! Next, I guess they will give you a kit with instructions on how to give yourself an operation and what channel on TV to turn to to watch the doctor tell you how to do it!

I am really feeling supported and happy from the feedback from friends reading the blog and the e-newsletter! Thanks to everyone who responded. It means a lot and helps my mental health which I believe helps my physical health since body, mind and spirit are all related.