Shades of Grey: Not Sexy, Just Scary!
Everyone has been talking about Shades of Grey in a different context these days, but I have been worried about hearing the results of the oncotype test which lets you know whether the tumor is like to spread in the next 10 years or not based on 21 genes that are tested. A low score means highly unlikely to spread and a high score means highly likely to spread whereas an intermediate score is in the grey area and has to be looked at with certain ( size, age, for example) percentages.
Dr Sataloff, my surgeon, Dr Mintzer, my medial oncologist and Dr Weiss, my radiologist, all felt it was highly unlikely that I would need chemotherapy given the early detection and size of the tumor but no one would say for sure until the results of the testing confirmed it. As Dr Mintzer explained: in a barrel of 100 beautiful apples, you know 5 of them are rotten, but you cannot tell which are for sure. This test tells you which are the rotten apples. I just have to hope, I did not have the rotten apple!!
Dr Sataloff called to tell me that my score of 18 was high low, bordering on intermediate but still low and that, given my case, she did not feel that I need chemotherapy. She was calling the other doctors to share the information with them.
So, I am happy that my score is low, but concerned that it is high low and not very low. Glad that I do not need chemo, but worried, that maybe I do??? How would you ever know except in hindsight? Maybe living with cancer is living in the grey zone.
On the other hand, I was handed a Red Delicious and am grateful.
toooldtodieyoungblog 
Glad a score of 18 is still considered low, even if ‘high low’. I’m so glad you won’t need chemo! May living the grey zone, – all of us, each in our own way, – help us to savor the juiciness of every Red Delicious we are handed! Thank you for reminding us.
Whew! So glad you don’t need chemo.
Hi there. Carla from her other blog here. My Oncotype came back as a 10. Anything low is good. Listen to Dr. Sataloff and Dr. Weiss – I did. Those are two fabulous women as well as doctors and as you know what they do all day every day is breast work for lack of a better description. I feel I have been in very capable and trustworthy hands with both of them myself. You need to have a little faith and look at things as positively as possible. Half the battle is attitude my friend. God never gives us more than we can handle so don’t borrow trouble. None of us have a magic 8 ball we can only do our best. Hugs
Good news Linda.!! We haven’t stopped thinking about you! Mary —
Linda: I am so glad for you that the news was good. Chemo is no fun. I am dreading my 4th round on Thursday, but really looking forward to a week at the beach in a few weeks. Sending prayers that you will remain cancer free. Hugs.
When life hands you an apple, make applesauce, Linda! (…with cinnamon)
Congrats on getting a red delicious. The thing is, many of us want to live in a black and white world where everything would seem crisp and clear. Decisions would be easy. Life would be easy. Or so we think. The truth is, we live in a grey world where the only thing that’s absolute is that things will change. Now the question is, do we want to live in a drab, dull grey world? Or a lunimous grey world where life can be transformed into shimmering moments of beauty?
I love the way you share your story- I love how you write about what you are going through and let us share the journey with you. You have a great writing style. Thinking about you always and hoping everything goes smooth and easy in your road to recovery..
Linda, congratulations on not needing chemo. Even chemo there are no 100% guarantees, and the side effects may not be worth it. Your doctor gives an educated guess, and your gut feelings…. that’s the best anyone can hope for. No one can say what will happen tomorrow. Aren’t we all living in a little bit of gray zone? Have faith in yourself, and the people that guide you.
Good luck with your treatment plan. Glad to see you are doing your installation at the Fringe, and I’ll definitely be by to see you.
Naomi Brownstein