The 4 AM Wake Up

Since returning from my trip, I made my appointments for the doctors I have to see. I saw Dr. David Mintzer who is my medical oncologist. That’s a sentence I never wanted to say! Who wants a medical oncologist? I am taking Arimidex and will be on it for 5 years. Problem is it causes tremendous joint discomfort and pain. It is hard to move in the mornings and getting harder to move all day. but statistically it keeps the cancer away, so I am taking it for as long as they tell me.

I also see my surgeon Dr. Dahlia Sataloff in May after my birthday party on May 8. But the scariest appointment I made is for the mammogram on April 11. In regular times, it was a scary deal to get a mammogram, given that 1 in 7 women have breast cancer, but now, after my experience last May, I am dreading this mammogram. How do I know? I wake up at 4 AM worrying! Sometimes, I am direct and worry about the mammogram itself and sometimes I am worrying about other things first. It takes a while until I come around to the mammogram and worrying that maybe they’ll find something wrong again. Maybe this, and maybe that… it can drive a  person crazy. I try to calm my monkey mind. I know I will deal with whatever they find. I know the annual mammogram will ensure that it will be small, early, treatable and something I can live with.

But I hope that they find nothing and I can get a clean bill of health this time.

If you are due for a mammogram, please make your appointment and get it done. Putting it off does no good.